Antihooliganism

Rehab, Guitar Hero, and Mountain Goats

2010-01-08T16:13:00.000-08:00

The three members of BBPP have now recommitted their lives to work on Pathetic Covers. Tommy Rocket just returned from his fourth successful stint in rehab, hoping this is his last bout with Pam Cooking Spray. Rocky the Crusher didn't play the actual guitar for months, opting instead for the fake plastic Guitar Hero version: "it's always in tune bro!" Finally, the Destroyer has spent the last six months living in a cave somewhere in the mountains of Idaho, trying to rid the world of mountain goats through blunt force.

As their first official act of the new year, BBPP is ignoring the millions of votes cast in favor of the album title Pathetic Covers. Rather, the band will name their next effort The Pathetic Album. Tommy commented on the reasoning behind the name change: "It's a bit tastier."

Four songs are mostly done:

Suck Snot
The Song that Saved the World
Hog-Tied
Dumber than This

This month, the band will be focusing on the strange tale of a remorseful killer: "Take Me Away"

The chronicles of the actual heroes of the same name, Balloon Boy and the Porcupine Pals, continue to progress toward semi-completion. Below is a completely random book quote:

Lilian shifted uneasily as she stood, her hands resting awkwardly at her side. “I apologize your Greatness; my intentions were pure.” The truth of the matter, as Lilian well knew, was that she had achieved the exact weight necessary to obtain the rank of Second Class Protector. She also had an impeccable knowledge of Zaxmorthian history. “I request that your Greatness instruct me in the ways of Zaxmorthia, and imbue my conscious with a desire to achieve a girth appropriate for the position to which I aspire.” Lilian was well-prepared to play the part of Nabashio’s sycophant, knowing that it was a necessary step in her quest to become a Protector Second Class.

Nabashio, as he often did, mentally prepared his oratory carefully before responding. “Despite my disappointment in your devotion and prowess, I am prepared to instruct you personally. The honor, of course, is yours my student. Properly posture yourself and walk with me; I will instruct you as we tour the ship.” With that, he abruptly stood up from his seat, at which point his overstuffed fingers worked to ensure that each sleeve, lapel, button, and tuck of his Captain Protector suit was properly placed.

Recommencement

2009-07-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Fans,

After a six month hiatus (working on temporal matters), the recording of Pathetic Covers is again underway. I will be recording the vocals to "Hog-Tied" and laying down drum and guitar tracks for "The Song that Saved the World" in the coming weeks. I'm still hoping for a 12/31/09 release, but we'll see....

In other BBPP news, the book continues to progress. 28,458 words have now been lovingly penned (typed, in all actuality). Writing a book is a much more laborious task than I ever imagined. It's about 1/3 of the way done. Here's a completely random excerpt:

With that, Victory descended the steps of the single-wide and moved toward her car. Balloon watched her vaguely, apparently dumbfounded by her outburst. Although he appeared to be in a daze, Balloon was actually deep in thought. He was reconsidering his prior position. It was the most difficult decision he had ever made in his life. He knew what was at stake. And he knew there would be consequences—all of which he considered disastrous—either way. As he attempted to navigate through his own indecision, he refocused his attention on Victory. Just as she was about to stuff her various extremities into her vehicle, a gust of wind softly blew her orange mullet across the back of her exposed neck. At that instant, Balloon abandoned his fears and embraced the darkness.

“Victory, wait up!” he yelled, running down the steps of the single-wide. “Don’t leave just yet. I had me a change of heart.” Tom, rolling his eyes and giving Russ an ‘I told you so’ glance, chased after Balloon.

Named

2009-02-21T07:01:00.000-08:00

As you can see from the polling, BBPP's new album will be named Pathetic Covers. BBPP are back in the studio (in all actuality, they never left), hoping to complete the album by December 31, 2009. Unfortunately, You're Fat Studios recently changed locations, delaying the recording process.

Here is the track list for the upcoming album:

Intro
Dumber than This
Heavy Metal
Hog-Tied
Light Tower
Lucille
No Feer
Path of the Mailman
Phlush
Road to the Hole
Sarah
Sludge
Song that Saved the World
Suck Snot
Take Me Away
To All

Beware!

Name BBPP's Next Album

2009-01-05T15:15:00.000-08:00

Now that Antihooliganism is an international sensation, BBPP are hard at work on their next album. The album will be a collection of cover songs, written by the 1990's death rock band Pathetic. BBPP hopes to release the album on December 31, 2009 at 11:59:59.

BBPP needs your help! Please vote for the name of BBPP's new album. Typically, BBPP doesn't care what you or anybody else thinks. Take advantage of this rare opportunity to be heard.

Released

2008-10-31T15:47:00.000-07:00

The day millions have been waiting for finally arrived: Antihooliganism is now released. You can download a free copy of the album here. You can visit BBPP's official website here. Feel free to post reviews here or at Facebook.

BBPP thanks you for your continued support.

The Burn Button Has Been Pushed

2008-10-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

Antihooliganism is now complete. After 16 months of recording, re-recording, cussing, and mastering, it is finished. The release party is planned for November 1, 2008 at 6:00 p.m. If you would like to attend, please let me know.

During the next two weeks, I will be working on the BBPP band website, as well as the necessary creation of a facebook music page. You will be able to sample and purchase the album through the website. The album will be available via mp3 download and CD (shipped direct to your door with fake space dirt and album art). We are still in negotiations with You're Fat Studios regarding pricing.

Release Date

2008-10-03T12:50:00.001-07:00

Something big is about to happen. BBPP is releasing its first album, Antihooliganism, on October 31, 2008. The album will be available via internet download and CD. If you don't like it, there is something wrong with you.

BBPP is planning to have a release party on November 1, 2008. All fans of music, power, and the universe are invited to attend.

Completely random book quote:

Although he would never admit it, Ned Gold hated Victory. He had always—at least subconsciously—blamed Victory for the death of his one and only true love. Ned Gold married his high school sweetheart, Claudia Thompson, in March of 1978. Two years later, Claudia gave birth to Ned’s first and last born child: Victoria Gold. Victory’s birth weight of 18 pounds, 3 ounces destroyed the previous record at Midland Memorial Hospital. Unfortunately, Victory’s immensity also destroyed her mother’s uterus, causing Claudia to bleed uncontrollably. Claudia Gold’s last living act was to gaze upon the fruit of her womb. The combination of blood loss and extreme horror killed her instantly.

More details on the upcoming release will follow....

Finishing Up

2008-08-24T20:12:00.001-07:00

The album is nearly finished. After a crash-course in "mastering" (whatever that means), I'm now putting the final touches on everything.

I had one more guitar solo to add to "Cards in My Pocket (political song for Eddie Vedder to sing)" and I went so crazy I got a gigantic blister on my finger. That's the first time in my life I've had a blister from playing guitar. You know it's awesome if it causes pain.

I still need to add some germanic screaming to the beginning of "Petty Hooligans," and some kind of synth, guitar, or string thing to "Nosebleed." Otherwise, there's nothing else to do but try to get every song as loud as possible without clipping.

Final Track List:
1. Meet Your Hero
2. Victory
3. Cards in My Pocket (political song for Eddie Vedder to sing)
4. Consider
5. Nosebleed
6. Temporary Immortality
7. Single-Wide
8. Glitter on Glue
9. Petty Hooligans
10. Wartime Comradeship
11. Star Sky

The book continues to progress. I've written about 45 pages, which is probably about 1/6 of the length I'm shooting for. Random quote below:

“No, I don’t want to play Lord Protector! You stay right here. I’m going to find out how you’ve been spying on me.” Balloon obeyed Victory’s commands, standing motionless while she inspected every square inch of the single-wide. Approximately three minutes later, Victory emerged from Balloon’s bedroom with a horrified look on her face. Balloon assumed the worst.
“What’s wrong? Did you find any video gadgets?”
“No I didn’t Balloon.” Victory sighed in frustration. “But I did find this.” Victory held up a tightly bundled stack of $100 dollar bills. “Where did you get these?”
“I tried to tell you, I’m really smart now. Me and Tom and Russ investigated things and found us a treasure trove.”
Victory wasn’t convinced. “Are you guys dealing drugs? I want to know where you got this money Balloon. I also want to know how you know all this stuff about my dad and what I’ve been doing. Tell me!” Victory threw the wad of cash at Balloon and simultaneously stomped her foot on the already-burdened floor of his single-wide.
“No, I ain’t into drugs. I just know things now, no matter what it is and I can know it. Whenever I don’t know something, and I need some learning about it, I just kind of ask myself the question and then the answer pops into my head.”

Look for Balloon Boy and the Porcupine Pals: Anithooliganism. Coming to a website near you soon!

You're Fat Studios has moved!

2008-07-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

Hello kids. You're Fat studios moved a couple of weeks ago, delaying the final touches on Antihooliganism by a few more weeks.

The album is coming together well. Unfortunately, I seem more excited about my next project, Pathetic Covers, then I am about finishing Antihooliganism. I've decided I want to do 2 or 3 versions of the album. A free version, which is filled with advertising and is missing guitar solos, and a $5.00 version, which does not contain the advertisements and includes guitar solos. I'm also thinking about a $10.00 "platinum" version, which includes an actual CD, jewel case, album art, and fake space dirt. We'll see.

In other news, my book: Balloon Boy and the Porcupine Pals: Antihooliganism is coming along nicely. I've written 3.5 chapters and am really enjoying the process. Below is a completely random excerpt:

After the concert, which consisted of six songs, Balloon had rushed to meet his all-time hero, Certain Death’s lead singer Tommy Rocket. Balloon eagerly held a copy of Certain Death’s second album, Anthems of Torture, for Tommy’s autograph. Tommy cursed his attempt, saying: “get your white trash out of my face, fatty.” Balloon was extremely hurt, wondering what he had done to make Tommy Rocket hate him. He dejectedly walked to his car and drove home, crying himself all the way back to Midland. Upon his return, Tom Zarski mockingly inquired about the performance. Balloon had feebly reported that the concert was “awesome.” As Tom drove south toward Iraan, Balloon contemplated the possibility of another Certain Death reunion concert. He felt a spark of excitement.

That's all for now kids.

Mastering

2008-04-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

The album is nearing completion. I have posted a couple of songs you've all heard on the Myspace page in their 99% done state. I hope you enjoy.

In other news, I'm finishing recording for the last three songs this month.

The album will have 11 songs total, all of them good.

Tribute to Ash

2007-12-29T15:45:00.001-08:00

I posted a new song on the Myspace page. It's a tribute to my all-time hero: Ash.

Enjoy.

Balloon

New Space Toys

2007-12-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

Travels throughout the reaches of time and space have endowed our hero with new weapons, which will no doubt aid him in the battle for sound. With the help of his trusty friends, the porcupine pals, Balloon Boy is now capable of reversing, stretching, and shrinking time. Additionally, Balloon Boy's percussion fire power has been quadrupled in strength and quality.

These advances will no doubt slow the campaign temporarily, as Balloon Boy attempts to wrap his idiotic mind around his new capabilities. Though the current battle may suffer, these new tools will ultimately allow Balloon Boy to the win the war.

Never fear, the forces of Butt Rock everywhere will soon taste the explosive war machine that is Balloon Boy and the Porcupine Pals!

Back from Vacation

2007-10-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

Endless photo shoots, autograph signings, and entertainment magazine interviews persuaded me to take the month of September off.

Recording has begun anew with two sure-fire hits: one song code-named "Sprinkled," and another titled "Temporary Immortality."

Track List Thus Far:
1. Star Sky
2. Meet Your Hero
3. Victory
4. Consider
5. Temporary Immortality
6. Sprinkled
7. Petty Hooligans
8. Wartime Comradeship

I'm thinking four more songs and perhaps an 80s gut-wrenching sap song turned heavy metal in-your-face off the top ropes mega violence rock.

I'll likely finish the raw recording phase in late December. I'm hoping to complete the re-records (almost all vocals) and master mix in January and February. Perhaps Antihooliganism will be released on March 10, 2008 if all goes well.

As to the adventures of BBPP, they are currently exploring the outer ring of the sombrero galaxy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sombrero_galaxy), songs about which will be coming in the likely distant future.

Victory Unveiled, almost

2007-08-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

I have finally succumbed to massive amounts of media pressure and internal anxiety and decided to post a near-album quality version of "Victory." You can check it out at the Myspace page.

Meanwhile, "Petty Hooligans" and a yet unnamed track are nearly complete. I just need to come up with vocals.....

All comments about "Victory" are welcome. The "burn" button has yet to be clicked, so hand out the criticism now.

Balloon

Petty Hooliganism

2007-08-10T06:17:00.000-07:00

Four songs mostly done at this point. "Star Sky" and "Meet Your Hero" have been added to the track list. This month I'm recording one song that's been around for about seven years, and another that's only about six months old. I don't really have names for either of them yet, but an album-title matching track is probably warranted at this point. Perhaps I'll name it "Petty Hooliganism."

The end of this month will mark the half-way point in the initial recording phase. I didn't want this to happen, but my "to fix" list for songs mostly done keeps getting longer and longer (with each new song). The fix list for "Meet Your Hero" will take about thirty minutes. The fix list for "Star Sky" could take six hours. I've been tempted to completely finish a song before moving on, but I'm hoping that when I return to the mostly finished songs three or four months down the road I'll be able to do it with fresh ears.

I'm still hoping for a December 31, 2007 release, but we'll see. Your cash-money donations, as always, are appreciated.

and she calls herself Victory....

2007-07-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Two songs are mostly done ("Consider" and "Victory"), with another two on the docket for this month ("Star Sky" and a yet unnamed track about Balloon). Along the recording way, there have been tremendous battles. Battle numero uno was drum sound. However, I'm finally satisfied with the sound.

I'm now engaging the evils of vocals. I've never thought that I'm a great singer, but making vocals mix well with a song is a royal pain. I think I should start smoking eight packs of filterless cigarettes per day so I can get that raw, cancer sounding voice.

I'm still debating whether I should put samples of the album-quality stuff up on the internet. If I get 500 comments on this page requesting that I do so, I will.

Balloon

Recording.....

2007-06-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Recording for the album has finally begun. The Alesis solved all of my drum sound issues, and now I'm off and running. The goal is to complete two songs per month over a sixth month period. In other words, I, like Amanda, am hoping for a December baby.

I'm not sure whether I'll be posting samples during recording. The other samples, in my opinion, sound so bad that I'd like to surprise everyone with the album sound in December. Perhaps I'll post poetry readings instead.

This month: "Consider" and "Victory." Next month: most likely "Star Sky" and who knows?

Balloon

Progress!

2007-05-21T10:32:00.000-07:00

After waiting nearly six months, I finally received word that my drum solution shipped. It should be here on Thursday or so. If that's the case, I'll probably spend this weekend screaming, yelling, and otherwise cursing because I can't get it to work.

I hope to have samples up by next Monday.

Balloon

and so we wait.....

2007-05-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

The solution to good-sounding drums, a key element in the battle for sound, continues on. My Alesis Trigger i/0 remains on back order. In the meantime, I've been storing up reserves on other fronts by working on vocals and guitar riffs. I've also been playing the piano a bit, although I'm not sure how much piano will make it on to the album.

In other news, I've been playing drums for a guy in my ward. It's been a lot of fun to actually play real music with someone on a weekly basis. Although, I'm not sure how the neighbors feel about it. We're working on some songs he wrote now, so I'll keep you posted as things progress. First stop: ward talent show. Next stop: the galaxy!

Balloon

Sleepless in S-Town

2007-04-24T15:48:00.000-07:00

So, the "Alesis Trigger i/o" is still just out of reach. Most retail sites keep pushing its release back one day at a time. So, I wait.

In other news, it appears that the subject matter of my life's work has been completely plagiarized: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/141961715X/ref=pd_sl_aw_alx-jeb-9-1_book_16252202_1

May you receive a favorable guess,

Balloon

Vocals Test

2007-04-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

I've posted a vocals test over at the Myspace page entitled "Star Sky Vocals." Feel free to check it out and comment on sound quality.

Admittedly, I need to drop this song from E flat to D (there's one high note I'm not quite reaching). Also, due to latency while recording, the vocals aren't quite on time. The latency is no problem to fix; I was just in a hurry today.

The lyrics are only about half-written, so there's a substantial amount of mumbling here.

Effects used: slight amount of reverb; double-tracking with a .03 time gap; compression.

The finished product will have harmony vocals at the chorus.

Enjoy (if you can).

Trigger Update

2007-04-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

A small defeat, but perhaps not a terrible one. The Trigger i/o is now scheduled to be shipped on April 13, instead of April 11. We'll see if it really comes that day.

Balloon

Sister-Site / Acoustic Test

2007-04-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

Because I can't post music links on this site (or because I'm too stupid to figure out how), I've created a Myspace music page. You can find it here: http://www.myspace.com/balloonboyandtheporcupinepals.

This weekend I tested my new vocals microphone for recording acoustic guitar. All the reviews said the mic was great for acoustic; I think I agree. Click the "acoustic sample" song on the Myspace page and let me know what you think.

Next week I find out if the Alesis Trigger i/o is really going to ship.

Balloon

Trigger Unhappy

2007-04-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

To successfully wage war against the forces of butt-rock, I need a weapon of insurmountable power. That weapon has recently been developed by the friends of the poor: Alesis.

The "Trigger i/o" is a device which will, hopefully, allow me to use the mystery of MIDI to get a good drum sound for Antihooliganism. The Trigger i/o was supposed to be released in February, but it got pushed back to April 11. I'm now hoping that I'll have one in my hands soon.

http://www.musiciansfriend.com/product/Alesis-Trigger-IO-Percussion-Pad-to-Midi-Interface?sku=449754

Assuming it comes, assuming it works, and assuming it sounds good, I should be waging the battle of sound soon.

Balloon

The Battle for Sound

2007-04-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Universe,

We would like to welcome you to Antihooliganism, the website dedicated to the adventures of Balloon Boy and the Porcupine pals.

Here, you will join Balloon Boy as he travels across the galaxy with his hideously ugly wannabe girlfriend Victory, as well as his yet-unnamed, unconjured, uncreated moronic friends. They will wage war against the forces of Nabosham, an ultra-evil genius with designs somehow in conflict with the simple-minded, yet super-powerful Balloon, which have yet to occur.

We join Balloon as he wages the battle of sound against the forces of butt-rock somewhere in the galaxy which we're not smart enough to geographically locate or describe using earth symbols. In all actuality, we just haven't figured out anything witty to call it yet.

May Balloon guess a favorable fate for you,

Porcupine